In Memoriam (5-11-10)

 “Down, down, down into the

 darkness of the grave.

 Gently they go, the beautiful,

 the tender, the kind.

 Quietly they go, the intelligent,

 the witty, the brave.

 I know.  But I do not approve
And I am not resigned.

Perhaps those soft but oh so powerful words of Edna St. Vincent Millay best describe the tender thoughts and memories of those whose loved ones have gone into the darkness of the grave but are fervently and forever remembered. They appear almost every day in the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel’s “In Memoriam” notices.

For all the world to read and ponder, the writers of these memorials pour out their abiding love, aching emptiness, and joyful memories. For those like me who read them almost with a sense of eaves-dropping, they are personal love notes announcing to the world their unending love for those who are gone from them.

I share some of these tributes with you now with the hope and thought that their tender, often aching words will once again remind us that love and faithfulness, and family are joys long remembered.

For Emil Symonik, Trudy wrote as follows: “You were the vault which kept my fragile heart safe.  The layers I have put around the pain of your going, are thin.  A thought of you easily cracks the surface. Twenty years and I still miss you so. All my love, Trudy.”


Under the name Erwin Paul Drake and dates 1923-1986, is written this message: “If someone’s worth is measured by how much they are missed, Edwin Drake was priceless.  We love you.  You are still so very dear in our hearts.  Your wife, Betty, and your sons and their families.”

The family of RuthTomczak, remembered her with these loving thoughts marking the one-year observance of her death on December 10, 2008.  “Dearly loved and missed  by husband, George, children, and grandchildren.  Our beloved angel, although a year has passed we miss you even more today than yesterday.  You left behind an empty place in all our hearts that cannot  be filled.”

Charline J. Ingram’s family was also remembering her death as well as her life-giving in these words:  “She touched so many lives – 7 children, 40 grandchildren, 58 great-grandchildren, and 9 great-great grandchildren.  Happy 91st birthday."


December 3, 2009 marked one year since the death of Gilbert J. Baituthis, Jr.  His family marked the occasion in these words: “To a loving Husband, Father, and Papa.  A million words would not bring you back, we know because we tried. Neither would a million tears; we know because we cried.  With all our love.  Diana and Family.


Even though Ervin B. Lesak, Jr. died in1971 he was remembered in these words: “Your son and family love you lots.  You would be proud of them.  Love, Busia, Papa, Sharon, and Dick.”


And then, this touching almost poetic tribute to Jesse C. Zimny:  “Yearning for My Son, I visit his boyhood school on a peaceful, sun-drenched afternoon.  As the school yard fills with the laughter and smiles of children, a dormant flower bed begins to bloom.  In the playground, alone in my thoughts, I sit on a swing.  The innocence of a child’s voice touches me from behind.  I turn around, yet all of the children have gone away.  But the once empty swing beside me begins to sway. ‘ I miss you, Mom.’  I wrap your love around me Jesse/  I refuse to let you go.  You will always be My son.  Forever, I will love you so.  God bless you,  Jesse.  Love, Robin, Lisa, and Family.”


And ever on these tributes go…whispering softly the lasting love of family for loved ones gone “ Down, down into the darkness of the grave.”

© 2010 George R. Berdes                 617 words

Laughing at Old Age/ May 4, 2010

We’ve all heard the old adage that if you laugh it won’t hurt so much. Notice, it’s an “old” adage.  But I think it’s still a valid truism, even on the subject of aging. With that established (albeit not proven), I invite you to laugh with me on a few smilers that came my way recently on the subject of aging. Try these:

A reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman: “And what do you  hink is the best thing about being 104?”  the reporter asked. Her reply: “No peer pressure.”

A 97-year-old man goes to see his doctor and tells him: “Doc, I want my sex drive lowered.”  “Sir,” replied the doctor, “you’re 97.  Don’t you think your sex drive is all in your head?”  To which the old duffer replied: “You’re darn right it is, that’s why I want it lowered.”

Even death, that inevitable tag-along of age, is not to be denied a seat in the lifeboat of laughter, as reflected in this exchange between an elderly woman at her husband’s wake.

Just before the service the undertaker asked the woman how old her husband was.  “98, two years older than me,” she replied.  “So, you’re 96,” the undertaker said.   The lady pondered the matter a moment and responded, “Hardly worth going home, is it?”

Okay…okay…you’re still not sure if you can even crack a smile over the idea that there’s anything funny about growing older.  I grant you, popular opinion is pretty much on your side.  But many old folks I know smile and laugh louder than a whole lot of younger people.  So why not still give it a try with  the following more generic  one-liners.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? FROSTBITE.

                        

What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?  ANYONE CAN ROAST BEEF.

Hey…was that a giggle I just heard?  Maybe we’re making progress.

                                             

Why do gorillas have big nostrils?  BECAUSE THEY HAVE BIG FINGERS.

Now, here’s a few you can try out on your grandchildren.

How do you catch a unique rabbit?  UNIQUE UP ON IT.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?  The SAME WAY. YOU UNIQUE UP ON IT.

How do you get holy water?  YOU BOIL THE HELL OUT OF IT.

What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?  DAMN!

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? POLAOIDS.

What are Santa’s helpers called?  SUBORDINATE CLAUSES.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work?  A STIC K

         

So there you have it.  Laugh…smile…how about a groan.  In desperation, I’ll even take a moan.

But let’s hear now from a real authority on laughter.  If there is one man in American society synonymous with laughter it is surely Bob Hope.  Here’s what he had to say:

 "Maybe if we could all laugh alike, and laugh at the same time, this world of ours wouldn’t find so many things to squabble about.”

From another era, Carl Sandburg offered the same insight with this observation: 

 “Excellent authority tells us that the right laughter is medicine for weary bones.”

  

How’s that for an endorsement about laughter in old age!

© George R. Berdes 2010                                                               563 words