We’ve all heard the old adage that if you laugh it won’t hurt so much. Notice, it’s an “old” adage. But I think it’s still a valid truism, even on the subject of aging. With that established (albeit not proven), I invite you to laugh with me on a few smilers that came my way recently on the subject of aging. Try these:
A reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman: “And what do you hink is the best thing about being 104?” the reporter asked. Her reply: “No peer pressure.”
A 97-year-old man goes to see his doctor and tells him: “Doc, I want my sex drive lowered.” “Sir,” replied the doctor, “you’re 97. Don’t you think your sex drive is all in your head?” To which the old duffer replied: “You’re darn right it is, that’s why I want it lowered.”
Even death, that inevitable tag-along of age, is not to be denied a seat in the lifeboat of laughter, as reflected in this exchange between an elderly woman at her husband’s wake.
Just before the service the undertaker asked the woman how old her husband was. “98, two years older than me,” she replied. “So, you’re 96,” the undertaker said. The lady pondered the matter a moment and responded, “Hardly worth going home, is it?”
Okay…okay…you’re still not sure if you can even crack a smile over the idea that there’s anything funny about growing older. I grant you, popular opinion is pretty much on your side. But many old folks I know smile and laugh louder than a whole lot of younger people. So why not still give it a try with the following more generic one-liners.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? FROSTBITE.
What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? ANYONE CAN ROAST BEEF.
Hey…was that a giggle I just heard? Maybe we’re making progress.
Why do gorillas have big nostrils? BECAUSE THEY HAVE BIG FINGERS.
Now, here’s a few you can try out on your grandchildren.
How do you catch a unique rabbit? UNIQUE UP ON IT.
How do you catch a tame rabbit? The SAME WAY. YOU UNIQUE UP ON IT.
How do you get holy water? YOU BOIL THE HELL OUT OF IT.
What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall? DAMN!
What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? POLAOIDS.
What are Santa’s helpers called? SUBORDINATE CLAUSES.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work? A STIC K
So there you have it. Laugh…smile…how about a groan. In desperation, I’ll even take a moan.
But let’s hear now from a real authority on laughter. If there is one man in American society synonymous with laughter it is surely Bob Hope. Here’s what he had to say:
"Maybe if we could all laugh alike, and laugh at the same time, this world of ours wouldn’t find so many things to squabble about.”
From another era, Carl Sandburg offered the same insight with this observation:
“Excellent authority tells us that the right laughter is medicine for weary bones.”
How’s that for an endorsement about laughter in old age!
© George R. Berdes 2010 563 words
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